Comments on: What to Say (And Not Say) to A Friend Struggling with Infertility https://dosaygive.com/what-to-say-and-not-say-to-a-friend-struggling-with-infertility/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=what-to-say-and-not-say-to-a-friend-struggling-with-infertility Lovely ways to do, say, and give. Fri, 11 Jun 2021 13:37:26 +0000 hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.8.2 By: leslie https://dosaygive.com/what-to-say-and-not-say-to-a-friend-struggling-with-infertility/#comment-29966 Fri, 27 Jul 2018 19:33:14 +0000 https://www.dosaygive.com///?p=19275#comment-29966 5.“Everything happens for a reason.”

MY PET PEEVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am a Christian and I can tell you, this is NO WHERE in the bible. “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. ” Romans 8:28 is as close as I could find when I went searching with fury in my eyes after being told this, one too many times. God’s *plan* for us was Eden, and we chose sin… so no, in no way, do I think my pain is from God— I think He can and will deliver me! I think He will take this pain and turn it to good, but sorry, when you say “everything happens for a reason” it sounds like you are saying God doesn’t want me to have a child and I know that’s not true.
Sisters, please be thoughtful and careful with your words when comforting a friend walking in a dark valley. We need to be equipped with truth, not idioms. xo

]]> By: Jeannie https://dosaygive.com/what-to-say-and-not-say-to-a-friend-struggling-with-infertility/#comment-29964 Fri, 27 Jul 2018 17:59:01 +0000 https://www.dosaygive.com///?p=19275#comment-29964 I appreciate this list, as we’ve been down the infertility and multiple miscarriage road too many times. Another “not to say” would be “God knows best” or “Losing this baby was God’s way of keeping you from heartache down the road” after miscarriage. Now that we are adopting, we need another list of what not to say: “Now that you’re adopting you’re going to get pregnant!” or “Don’t get a baby with special needs, that’s the last thing you need!” or “Oh man, tell the agency NO DRUGS!!! You don’t want a baby who’s momma was on drugs, that’s for sure!!!”
The decisions we make about which baby we will adopt are private and will be part of our baby’s story, not one open for anyone’s conversation.

I know people want the best for us, but it’s really hard to go through all this and have 1,000 opinions when we are really trying to listen to God and His directions for us.

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