https://dosaygive.com/what-to-do-for-a-friend-going-through-a-divorce/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=what-to-do-for-a-friend-going-through-a-divorce Lovely ways to do, say, and give. Thu, 14 Jul 2022 17:44:17 +0000 hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.8.2 https://dosaygive.com/what-to-do-for-a-friend-going-through-a-divorce/#comment-141176 Thu, 23 Sep 2021 17:39:58 +0000 http://143.198.115.46/?p=67854#comment-141176 Thank you for addressing this topic! No matter the age, or the duration of the marriage, or the ages of the children, or the reasons for the divorce, it is difficult. You are almost guaranteed to lose some *friends* in the process but the real ones will make themselves known. That was my experience.
The tip you offered about including the divorced folks in gatherings has been the most important one, TO ME. As a single woman (divorced now almost two years), I am not shy about inviting a couple to join me for a cocktail from time to time (I find that they actually love the shake-up to THEIR routine too!) but it takes effort. I appreciate the friends who still invite me to things without thinking they have to set me up with anyone. I just want to continue to socialize with fun and interesting people — a set-up for a date is nice but it is not my priority.
Kids: no matter the ages at divorce (mine were 15 and 21), they struggle. If the reasons for divorce were not so obvious to them (parents rarely fought, there was no shouting, no outward signs of discord) they can wonder what was real and what wasn’t. “I always thought my mom was happy. Now she says she had not been happily married for years — was it ALL fake? Was she not happy with me? Was I not enough?” Therapy helps.
Lastly, encourage people supporting the divorced person to NOT take sides. No one knows what goes on behind closed doors. No one knows everything about another person’s struggles. Just acknowledge the state of affairs (the couple are splitting) and continue to take the high road — you can’t fall into a ditch if you do — and you will be leading by example. Your kids are watching how you treat others, all the time.

]]> https://dosaygive.com/what-to-do-for-a-friend-going-through-a-divorce/#comment-141175 Thu, 23 Sep 2021 14:46:48 +0000 http://143.198.115.46/?p=67854#comment-141175 Thank you for speaking to this often uncomfortable topic! I think one of the hardest parts to understand about a person going through divorce is just how long her brain stays in a fight or flight stance. The long-suffering patience of a dear friend can be a true support in those days.

]]>